PB Zoom Land

Yeah, I know… “where the fuck have you been?” Depression…. nuf said?

Anywhoo, lets move on.

And.. firstly let me just say that I don’t care WHAT you want to believe, I think I have made that abundantly clear in the past. If you want to have a firm foundation in the knowledge that a green man from Jupiter is the creator of all life and you have to wear egg salad in your trousers on thursday to make your ‘god’ happy… then head to the fucking deli! Me, I will just quietly laugh at you from over here.

BUT… and let me just say BUT… when your crasy ass beliefs interfere with ME… well, mr mayonnaise ass… we have issue. Not sure if you have heard… I looked but didn’t find it, but I was told it was on ‘national news’ , that some wacked out old bird from Lithuania or outer latvia or Jupiter… maybe… wonder if she is green… I digress. This batshit on a pump handle crazy bitch claims to have seen,out in her back garden no less, the “holy mother” aka Jebus’ mom, prancing around in her samite robes. In outer mongolia you ask? nooo. Well then, could it be maybe on some side street in Jerusalem that currently isn’t being firebombed by some religious nut? oh HELL no. Then where oh magic zoomer, where the bloody fuck is J to the C’s crazy old lady hangin’ out these days… Well friends and neighbors… none other than OUT IN THE FUCKING WOODS IN ALABAMA!!! Thats right, Screw that hot desert middle east…she wants some ‘white lightnin’ and some fried chitlins… so redneck country or bust was her motto.

Surely you jest… I hear from the back… No, dear readers… I don’t. I was headed deep into the Alabama redneck woodlands for a bit of libation and fourth fun… (edit… I actually had and still have the remnants of a serious head cold… Saturday (4th) I felt like warmed up shit that had been driven over by a diesel… I digress… again) Well on the road about oh…. fifteen miles from the nearest person who could add 4+4 and get the same answer twice, we came upon traffic… SHIT loads of it… lined up along the old tar and gravel blacktop road… people milling about in the 98deg boiling mid day sun… with coolers, and tents (yes tents… thes fuckers were in it for the long haul) and various sitting and lounging devices. Needless to say we crept along for about 8 miles … pissing… and moaning and these damned idiots wondering what the fuck they were doing… I was thinking maybe a funeral since lots of tiny churches lined that road… but hell, there were fucking cars for MILES… no redneck had THAT many friends… and the tags… from NewYork to Louisiana and all points west I bet you. We were curious so the spousal unit called her sister who had traversed the same stretch of road not an hour ahead of us and inquired… what the fuck… Seems my brother in law decided to slow way down and ask on of the passing travelers indeed… what the fuck. and was told all sorts of heavenly goodness was going on out there… that the virgin mother was found out in the woods… and that hoo boy everyone was out to find her. The traveler invited them to join the fray but my in laws cried off and decided to go drink beer instead. Good call I say. Upon hearing the what and all was going on… I had a great idea…

Sneak into the woods in camo…. change into a white robe, put on a dirty long wig and beard…bloody up my hands and feet, carry a big cross and wander the woods shouting “MOM… where are you… MMMOOOOOMMMMMM.

what do ya think… ? no?  Well, I have no idea where to get a big cross that I could carry so I guess that idea is out.

(it was still funny… uh… well, to me) and as my buddy always says… “I hope it is still funny when you are burning in hell…”

prolly will be…

cheers all,

pb

It has just come to my attention that I am a mean and hurtful drunk.

Who would have guessed that…

me? a drunk?… and a mean one?

damn…

PB

here I am again, sitting at me pc… typin to youse… I actually did a little yard work today… by little I mean i cut half the back yard… HALF… and I sweat so bad I soaked my shirt like I had been hit with a fire hose. What in the blue bloody fuck is the deal? Fat? yes… Lazy?… yes… Sits on ass so much the chair now whines when I leave like a lonely puppy?…. OK OK I get it… fat lazy bastard… 

Time for ME to get my movin panties back on… hmmm, wonder which pair that is… I just can’t seem to remember. 

Probably the ones that are buried in the back of the drawer, in the little box, with a lock on it that says do not open under penalty of sweaty ass. 

On a good note my new Pnuematic wrench should be here next week… WHEEEs… he says… now I can put it with the rest of my tools waiting for my lazy ass to use to fix this fucking Jeep that I so desperately want to drive.

OK peeps, time for me to get back out in the sun for a teensy bit, setting the yard up for a bonfire/ drinkin party… u should come… I need more beer. (you are bringin… right)

cheers me lovelies…

PB the exhausted zoom

yet another beautiful morning has come…albeit a bit over cast, the birds are still singing, and the squirrels are still raping the bird feeder, while the cat goes apeshit trying to figure a way to capture one of the little cavorting bastards.

AH, yes… life is good. 

Going to see that “star track” thing everyone has been talking about… never heard of it myself… it better be good. Who is this spok guy? 

ow, owww, DAMNIT… stop throwing rocks… I was kidding… sheets. Yes, I should have been in line on opening night… I should have, like my cohorts, purchased tickets for opening night weeks ahead of time… but. I just don’t like the press of tons of people, ya dig? I get… edgy and lets face it, a grown man having a panic attack while surrounded by people dressed as klingons is just a bit embarrasing. So, I waited till most of the heat died down.

True some of the cooler bits were disclosed to me by bastards and rat holes who couldn’t shut their traps, but… again… my fault, I should have jumped on the band wagon and seen it way earlier…

I heard there were plenty of cameos in this one (as expected) but there is one important one that was left out… and I know who is responsible 

KAAAHHHHHHNNNNNN!!!!!!!

who loves ya, 

p to the B

talk about napping… shit, where the fuck HAVE I been…… 

I must apologize. Hell, I turned around one half a second and BOOM, a month has gone by… and honestly I didn’t EVEN see it. 

wait…. no hell no, it wasn’t old rumpled forskin who napped… he made gold from a whoochi mommas taint hair… it was old Jack van Stinkle that napped his ass off.

well, now that we have gotten THAT cleared up. Where was I. Oh yeah.. when I last reported in, I was tired and getting over surgery… well, still tired, but mostly over it. The rehab is good, I can walk mostly now, it still smarts on occasion, and I can even walk UP 3 stairs… down… not so much… but I can go UP. good thing there are two doors in this fucking house or I would be stuck in here. 

Anyone know anything on black hair alge? I got it bad… gets in the way when I wax my balloc… I mean. no.. .uh… NO, nothing wrong here.. all is good. 

(do not take meds and type… ends note to self) 

Hey, I am getting some gumption back up and I even made me a new twitter acct. My old one died… due to lack of use… so, now… I can vent while at work… whoooo I get to cuss all fucking day long!!!! not that not having twitter ever stopped that mind you…

ok, me buckos I am going to do my nightly PT and then rub one out… HA!!! I kid… or am I… 

yeah… I kid… I am way too fucking tired for PT.

Cheers all

P who is B

Haven’t taken time to write lately… been busy. Busy hurting.

Yeah, yeah… I know… shut the fuck up you pansy… stop being a needy whiner bitch. Well, when YOU go through this we will talk.

Stood on my feet all afternoon yesterday working in the garage… and again all morning/ afternoon t0day… my knee hurts like a … well…a… shit… it just hurts. Codine… here I fucking come.

over the past couple of days I had gathered quite a few ideas to chat about… but. I can’t remember a single fucking one. What the hell is that about? Gettin’ old and forgettin shit. No thank you, take this back.

OK, pain meds are callin, c you dudes l8r

P to the B

I was watchin the toob the other day… it seems that is all I fucking do these days. And… there was some fucking stupid show where c list stars, and has beens were being interviewed about… shit. It was loaded with people of yesteryear trying to keep their spotlight time. Give it up ya hacks… get a real job, come mow my lawn. Now… This is what I am getting to… One of these used to be’s was not other than Tonya Harding. ok… yes… ON TV… as an important enough to be interviewed ‘entertainer’. This person who years go was condisdered by most to be responsible for an attack on a fellow athelete, black balled by the world at large and reduced to another sad ‘internet porn’ episode. 

Is this for real? Is THIS the world I live in now? Must be… rap music is still popular… as is spinning rims and having your ass hanging out of jeans with ludicrously large pockets. OK, I was a child of the 80’s I know all about shitty fashion, but… come on. And, can someone please explain why being a thug is ‘popular’ these days? Honestly… I am getting sick of this world… what the fuck is wrong with this place?

I think a good kick in the junk is in order for about 90% of the planet, maybe that will get them thinking correctly again.

Fuckers.

love and noodles

pb

so, here we are…

This isn’t exactly the way I had intended things to be. But… we rarely get what we want in life…

(side note… this tiny “netbook” has teensy keys and I have backspaced over a misplaced 3 or a § more than I can say) oh.. what is it? check it.. >LINK< Other than the t8iny (see) keyboard it is great.

Now, as I have said before I  had knee surgery… I found the ‘official’ procedure, it is called an Arthroscopic Lateral Retinacular Release. That link goes to a page that describes it and other knee things.

I am/ have been doing my rehab /PT work like a good boy but recently a new ‘exercise’ was added. One that caused me some amount of pain. But, isn’t really what I would call strenuous… just mysteriously extremely painful. Now… the PT person said, you should tell your doctor about this… so… I did, called and spoke with his assistant. Who swiftly told me that my therapist was ‘over doing it’ and she was going to call them. I insisted that the motions I was attempting were not, in my opinion, worthy of causing this pain… that maybe something was amiss. “I am calling them, you are over doing it” I was told again, and the call was ended. Now… I am left with a “what the fuck…” situation. Do I NOT bend my knee ever again? Do I just sit here for months on end with ice on it? Is walking really out? I seem to be stuck in the middle of a turf war between the doctors office and the therapists. I never did hear back from the doctors office. I don’t know what the situation is. I don’t know if I should keep going or hold off… I wasn’t told.  I will call back tomorrow and see if someone will talk to ME about MY knee. Instead of fighting over it behind my back.

fuckers.

The zoominator

I am sitting here, using my new netbook to type this, because sitting at my desk is right out. I have to go to PT tomorrow. (physical therapy) I am dreading this a whole fucking lot. Like damn… don’t make me go bad. This fucker hurts like there is someone beating me from the inside, and well… I don’t want to hurt no more. Lets face it… me and pain… long time aquaintences… I have had this knee hurting me for years.. Just, not THIS bad. Call me a pussy if you want to… I don’t care… but… I want this to be over.

wish me luck.

Sorry for the shorty post… but… for fuck sake.. give a bitch a break.

Love and Apples

P to the B